You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
