I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
