I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
