i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
