i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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