dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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