if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its about making memories worth repressing
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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