Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Randomize
