but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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