Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
