Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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