What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
