Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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