I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
