Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
