We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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