I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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