He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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