Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
