The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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