I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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