we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
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I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
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Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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