hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
