We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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