I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I party with great urgency now.
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