Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
