Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
only you would photoshop your dick
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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