Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
