someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
