do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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