we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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