Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
