They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
