I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
