it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize