She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
