watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
