the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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