Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
