Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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