FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just cropdusted the office
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
