Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
