The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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