yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
