can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
