end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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