where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
