i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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