is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
