You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
