yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
