Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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