I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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