All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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