I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
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I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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