Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
