Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
